I'm boring, I know...

I am not the swan song type. I don't make ultimatums or demands. I don't try to blackmail my readers or make threats. I don't announce that I'm taking some kind of break or hiatus from writing or poker.

If I want a break, I take it. It's a diary, after all!

I am selling nothing, advertising nothing, expecting nothing. I just do it because I write.

I'm sure lots of you are wondering where I'm going with this. Well, I'm not really going anywhere, I don't think. Like many of my posts, I just sort of ramble around and sometimes something sticks, other times it doesn't.

I haven't been in the mood to write much lately. I just sit around playing low limit online poker, read some fiction, read 2+2 and look through cruise brochures.

I remember after the cancer diagnosis, I thought to myself, and aloud, "Boy, if I get through this thing, instead of trying to make a difference in the world, make something of myself, I just want to become a hermit and withdraw from people, living the rest of my life in seclusion, peace and totally drugged up."

Obviously I couldn't tolerate alcohol. Diabetes killed that dream of becoming an alcoholic. I don't get much from painkillers. I think I have some kind of resistance to getting hooked on anything. I don't know if it's mental, physical or both, but becoming an addict and living out the rest of my life as a useless, happy lump of clay is somehow eluding me. Drats!

Anyway, my next best plan is to just live the rest of my life as if I'm on vacation. A vacation that is different from the way lots of people think of vacation. I like to be alone, not be disturbed, eat what I want, when I want. Lay in the sun, swim, read, meet "locals" if I'm in an exotic location.

What I don't like is being around people, visiting museums, local attractions, places where there are big crowds or lines.

Cruises are pretty good for me. I can do things on the ship, if I am unable to go to shore or it's a sea day. If I'm on a decent cruise line, I can have lots of time and space for myself. I can get any food or drink almost immediately if my blood sugar goes down the tubes. There is a doctor on board and access to most types of drugs I might need. There is a floating pool and jacuzzi. I can get a massage if I want. I pick up languages very quickly and can converse with taxi drivers and locals so that I can make my way to places that locals hang out to eat and shop, in any locale. I am not at the mercy of some English speaking tour guide, on a bus, on a schedule, forced to herd from place to place.

So I think I'll take more cruises from now on. I can get fantastic deals if I am not picky (I'm not). Last minute deals out of San Diego or LA (they consider <60 days as "last minute"). Inside cabins, cabins near the engines, unassigned cabins, re-routed ships, relocating ships, odd itineraries, etc.

There are several Cardplayer cruises, too, which Glenn can deal on. I might have to wing it as far as accommodations go, but I have heard that CP dealers make out like bandits. Jan was a dealer and/or in management for ten years, so she is very pro-dealer. The rake and juice is high, but it really does go to the dealing staff, or so I've heard.

I was contacted by Holland America, which claims they now have one real poker table onboard. I have heard the same from other cruise lines. Some of the younger oriented lines have two or three. Amazingly enough, the rake isn't as bad as I'd expected. Something like 10% up to $5 max. Not bad. I'll confirm if any of this is really true. HAL would be almost the last cruise line I'd expect to spread poker. So I won't be very disappointed if the news was false. Last time we cruised, we put a little blurb in the daily paper and had poker games in the Bridge room, self dealt.

So here I am, just sitting around planning out the next stages of my life. I'm boring, I know, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Felicia :)