2+2 OT Post of the Year

See, Al, I'm not the only one!!!

Post of the Year
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This is what I was going to post. Commerce must have the all-time monopoly on this one. What in god's name makes people want to go into a public bathroom, take a huge, gassy dump, and talk to all of their friends and family on the phone at the same time???

It's like, "Yeah, how you doing?" (fart, plop, sigh)
"Oh, yeah, I'm at Commerce." (rip, toot, ah)
"You coming?" (flush)

Same person a minute later in Chinese:

"chinese, chinese." (rip, rip, plop)
"chinese, chinese." (fart, plop, sigh)

I could go on and on.

Why, why god why?

And do they use the same hand they are talking on the cell phone while taking a dump to wipe??? If so, do they wash the cell phone afterwards? I have never, ever seen one of these cell phone dumpers wash their cell phone after taking a dump in public.

NO, I don't want to hear you talking on your cell phone in public. NO, I don't want you to take a dump in public. And hell NO, I don't want to hear you talking to everyone on your cell phone while taking a dump in public.

And if ALL of this is absolutely unavoidable (yeah, right), at least have the courtesy to give a few extra flushes at the end of all of your nastiness.