Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Self Esteem???

One thing I've never really understood about Americans (and Canadians, from what I can tell), is their obsession with self esteem.

If I say to you, "My best game is Stud, I'm not much of a Hold'em player," then these are the comments I get:

"Oh, Felicia, you have no self esteem. You can play Hold'em well. Don't run yourself down!"

"Wow, what a braggart you are! You think you're so great. Brag, brag, brag, that is all you ever do!"

If I say (LOL), "My boobs ain't nothing to look at, but I've got a great smile,"

Ditto, "All you do is brag, you think you're so great!"

"Felicia, you have such a self esteem problem. You should be seen by a professional. Cheer up, don't put yourself down so much!"

Well, the point is, I guess I am so vastly different from most human beings that they simply don't get me. I have always felt that it takes much more self confidence, more self esteem, to look oneself squarely in the mirror and be able to pick out negatives as well as positives. I not only admit them to myself, I have no issue with telling anyone who asks (or sometimes doesn't, lol).

I also don't have any problem telling someone else where they excel and where they are deficient. Americans seem to have a big, big problem with that. If you give a list to an American and say, "You know, I like you so much that I am giving you a list of things about yourself that I wrote in my spare time!" then you give them a list which has 99 positive attributes and one negative one, they will dwell on the negative one forever. In fact, it will probably cost you your friendship with said person, regardless of the fact that 99:100 things you listed were positive. You "friend" will never stop whining and crying about the one flaw you found.


If any of you are truly worried about me and my "lack" of self esteem, my "self confidence" issues, you should be relieved to hear that I have been counseled and counseled. My head has been shrunk so much it now resembles a normal human head (you should have seen it before, lol).

I have been told repeatedly, by different psychologists, psychiatrists and counselors that I am exceedingly normal. If anything, I have somewhat of a judgmental attitude, and consider myself a lot more realistic than most humans.

Does that make me better than everyone else? No. Does it mean anything is wrong, that I have some personality flaw? No.

I am definitely SICK, and need help, but not for the reasons that you think I do.


Felicia :)