Apology to Hoyazo

Another person I find myself owing an apology to is Hoyazo. God, I can't help but say Hoyzano. I say Hoyzano in my head and I say it out loud. I can't seem to say Hoyazo at all, it doesn't sound right. I even just misspelled it twice while trying to type it.

Why can't I seem to either say it or spell it (I'm not going to try again)? Because I'm a moron. There are certain words I can't say anymore. I don't know if it was chemo or a lobotomy that I felt I got, but I simply can't. A drug that some cancer patients can use (I can't, grrr), is called Herceptin. I can't say it, I can't spell it. I have no idea why other than chemo is poison. Now poison I can say with ease. Go figure!

Anyway, getting back to my post. I never meant to trash this guy, ever. I don't even know him! I did make fun of him in an old post, when I said that I couldn't figure out why he was putting down Glenn. It wasn't me who actually teased him, it was Glenn, but since I wrote it in my blog (although I clearly said Glenn is the one who had said it), I'll take responsibility.

I think I said something like, "Then Glenn said to me, 'Why would you care about what anyone with Hammer in his nickname has to say about me?'" And Glenn did say that, or something very close to that.

And yes, the Hammer thing was a joke. It was supposed to be a good hearted joke, but a joke nevertheless. Because several years ago Grubby went to task to rename the "beer hand" or 72o to "The Hammer," and succeeded greatly. And Glenn and I think it's funny. So I thought it was nutty as a fruitcake that anyone would use that as a nickname (I believe there is another player who has a similar nickname). I surely didn't mean any harm, but once again, I obviously hurt his feelings.

I did play at the same table as H, and I had a fabulous time. I thought he behaved like a mature, adult human being, and had no problem with him whatsoever. I was curious at the time why I keep hearing all of these rumors that he is bashing me on his blog, but since I didn't read all of them directly, I didn't approach it. Plus we were all there to have a good time, and we were having a good time. The part about me wondering why he was going after me was actually a compliment. I was sort of like, "Jeez, he seems like an okay guy, so why am I hearing all of this stuff about him?"

Unfortunately, most of my "compliments" sound anything but, to many readers. I have a way of talking that doesn't convey the humor or good will of the situation on paper. I have an odd way of talking and try not to use many traditional cliches, but make up my own ;)

Okay, so as far as the Omaha thing goes, I barely told anyone. I never expected a horde of bloggers to show up, just two (and spouses if they wanted to come). They were the only ones I cared about. The ones who nursed me through cancer and treatment. The ones I taught, the ones I bought in (and offered to buy into this event, as well). So no, I wasn't waiting for hundreds of people to sweat me. Just those two. And perhaps they had a great reason for not showing up (I already know that one did), which was the reason for my extensive apology today. I am a moron, what can I say?

I can't remember what H said about Glenn's play, but I was told many times he called Glenn a "bad player" and I read something on his site along those lines that Glenn played badly in the freeroll. I could be completely misquoting him here, and so I am going to go back after first writing this, and make sure. It is hard for his site to load on my laptop, which is why I don't frequent it. He posts a lot of screen shots, and I have a laptop from 1982 (ask Al, lol), so it tends to freeze up. That is the reason I don't have his site linked, nor visit it. It is nothing personal, other than I'm a cheap bastid who won't pay a grand for a laptop. I got this one on e-bay for like $200 and it's 15 lbs, lol. (Btw, people might think I'm joking about that part, since I make other jokes that aren't apparent in my journal, but the part about it being a very old laptop, and it weighing a ton are true.)

Okay, I found the quote. He said, "But I actually tend to believe Felicia, because I know she is a solid poker player, and in the WBCOOP she most definitely did not play well." The part about tending to believe me, was when I said that Glenn had played on Stars. So he didn't say Glenn was a "bad player" necessarily, in general, but he said Glenn played badly in this one event. I don't know if he did, I was only there for part of it.

The reason that the FeliciaLee nickname played on the Stars freeroll and not a nickname for Glenn, was that once again, when we signed up for Stars, it had a "one account per household" policy. So only one of us could play the Stars freeroll. I think they have changed this policy now, but since I never really caught on to playing online much, Glenn just took it over. Kind of like the same FUBAR with Party.

Now, as far as my post on bad beats, he seems to think I just said, "Bad beats don't exist." Period. End of story, in no context whatsoever. What I really said was this, ""bad beats" usually are anything but...they usually are indicative of bad play." I also said many times both in that post and later posts that the person who goes around whining about bad beats usually misplayed somewhere. Before the hand, during, after. If they are a whiner, they aren't always playing wisely. They are making mistakes. Why? Because the top players don't usually lament "bad beats." They call it variance. They call it the price of playing and winning. The price of poker. It keeps poker good, it keeps it alive and thriving. So they just shrug it off. Talking about it, whining, lamenting, steaming about it does nothing more than make a player start playing badly.

In no way does this mean that a player cannot get in with the best hand at the time, and get beat by some miracle card. Some runner-runner nonsense. Some one-outer. It happens all the time. Every day, every hour, every minute. With the advent of online poker, I would expect one of these phenomenal favorites that got beat would occur every minute or even more often.

The CONTEXT of the statement was that players shouldn't dwell on them, it will only bring down their play. Let it go.

So yes, he took my position out of context. And so far, that is the only thing I can find him guilty of. Other than slander is verbal, libel is written ;) Oh, and that I don't go to his site because I'm a dinosaur with a dinosaur computer.

Okay, so to wrap it up, I apologize. I truly liked you at the table, except Glenn said it took you too long to act on your hands because you were so busy socializing. We can't all be social butterflies, lol (and yes, this is a joke, I am teasing you, do not take it out of context). Oh, and that was a joke too! I'm teasing you about taking me out of context.

I truly am sorry if I hurt you, and I think I did, because I'm getting a billion hits from your site today and you wrote quite a bit about it. I hate that I hurt you like that, because I hate being hurt myself.

I am totally FOS, which should be apparent by now, yet people think I'm being serious when I'm joking, or think I'm joking when I'm serious. I have a very, very warped sense of humor. Like I would be offended if someone called me "nice," but I love it when someone calls me a cold-hearted, ruthless bitch."

My Mom's nickname for me is "The Bitch" and she means it. Especially since I cut off her drug money (and that part is true, I did, until she agrees to go to detox).

I am candid and rude at times, but most of what I say or do is completely harmless. I can, however, tell that I've hurt you, and I truly never meant to do that.

I will, however, probably not be able to stop calling you Hoyzano in person, and I don't think I have ever been able to call you Hoyazo (only one typo that time). You can ask anyone about that one. I have thought from that first that you were Hoyzano, although I don't think that is your real name (no, I have no idea what your real name is, either, if it's not Hoyzano).

Nothing I do is meant to hurt. Nothing is meant to sting or leave permanent scars (although biting can be fun if I'm having sex with the right person, lol ;)

So for any pain I've caused you, I'm sorry, truly.

Felicia :)